Part 34: Update Thirty Three: Godslayers

Update Thirty Three: Godslayers

Welcome back! Last time, on Final Fantasy IV, we made it to the Moon and talked with Cecil's Moon-Uncle. Oh, yeah, Cecil is half Moonman. Today, well...We're going to take down a god. Let's mosey.



We're not leaving the Moon quite yet. We've still got a few things left to do here.



When I said you can't land on the surface of the Moon, I kind of lied. You can, but only on these nice smooth patches.



Like so. Apparently, the giant lunar spaceshipwhale just can't handle landing on some rocks.



Inside of this cave--





What the hell is this? Namingway is a moonman, too!?



Whenever you talk to one of these...Namingway guys, they'll actually hum a bit. Were VirtualDub not hating the video I took for this section, I'd upload a bit of it. I also can't seem to find it, but I know someone out there is just going to be ready with the link and giving me the finger as they read this.



This Namingway is an interesting feller.



He also sells Hi-Potions and Phoenix Downs, but who gives a shit about those? Ethers, Dry Ethers and Elixirs, all for sale! Sure, the Dry Ethers and Elixirs are hella expensive, but they're for sale!



For now, I settle with 30 Ethers. I was going to buy Dry Ethers, but then realized I could only afford seven of them. After buying all of these, I sold off the extra weapons and shit I wasn't using.



There are also these uniquely colored Namingways at the top of this little cave.



It's good to see that Cecil just sees a Namingway, or a lookalike, and he just runs up to them screaming and pointing, "CHANGE THIS OLD FUCKER'S NAME!"



I'm now wondering just how badass these guys are to live up here. I've seen no place where they could farm and raise food or any sources of fresh water. I'm also pretty sure it's really fucking cold on the Moon when the Sun isn't facing it and I also think it's really damn hot when the Sun is facing it. Somewhere around 220 degrees, Fahrenheit, if I remember right.



And then there's this Hummingway, who reveals the Namingway we've encountered on Earth just up and built a spaceship one day and came to Earth. He also makes it sound like he's the only one, so it seems that our name changing friend is either following us or knows where we're going.



This is the only one around who can change our names. He runs around like a spaz, so it can be tricky to catch him.



I loved both Puddin and Santa for his name change. I really did and I couldn't pick between the two. Last night, I hung out with a buddy and we spent about ten minutes debating which would be the better name. Hanging out with said friend is also why I didn't have this update ready on time. Sorry about that, folks.

Anyways, I ended up flipping a coin to decide. Heads for Puddin, Tails for Santa. It came up Heads, so Puddin it was.



That just about covers Hummingway's Abode. We've got one more place to visit here and it's a big one, so let's get 'er done.



Remember this little spot?



There is some Serious Shit ^TM in here, so I'm saving up before even stepping foot in here.





The being the cave is named after is only just a part of what makes this so dangerous. And be sure to listen to that music. It's pretty damned good and one of my favorite tracks from the game.





There are some serious encounters in here, so it is best to be prepared for the worst.



Selene Guardians are powerful physical strikers, with 4,000 HP to her name.



Dark Sages are, surprisingly, magic users. All I saw her use was Fira, but don't think it's anything to just write off.



Her magic has a hell of a punch to it. I know she's got more, so I'm glad that it was only Fira she decided to use.



One of Selene's physicals; she's a tough broad.



This is how I recommend dealing with both of them, as neither have weaknesses to exploit, barring the Dark Sage being a Mage Type. Almost makes me wish I hadn't sold off the Mage Masher, but then realized it wasn't going to be as useful as I would have liked it to be.



Dark Sages responds to magic with Tornado, but I never saw it hit. Maybe she's one of those real powerful mages, but can't really focus her power or some shit.



Puddin has a unique skill called Regen.



There's not a ton to say about it, except that it fucking sucks. I think it'd be better if it worked like Sap, as in, your health just continually rose. Instead, what it does is, every so often, is restores 10 HP to everyone.

10 HP. 10 Goddamn fucking hit points. Puddin, you're an asshole.



XP rewards are very nice in here, though, as are the gil rewards. The Moon is a hell of a lucrative spot to grind out some levels or cash, if you find yourself hurting for either.



Back on track to where we were going, there's a chest down here. There's a few of them scattered around here and they're all worth grabbing, I think.



The series wide Genji equipment is around here and it's just as worthwhile here as it is in the other games.



It's just a straight defensive boost, but one that Cecil won't mind. He's the toughest sumbitch 'round this party, so the harder he can get hit, the better.





There are also secret passages on the Moon. I'm wondering why Bahamut needs secret passages in his Moon cave.



I'm not complaining, as it leads to fancy stuff for Cecil.



New shields are nice, but I wouldn't mind a new set of body armor.





Heading south from that secret passage, I run into a new fight near the door to the second floor.



These guys are...Certainly something. The most interesting thing about them is their 14,000 HP. They don't have any weaknesses, either, so you've just gotta beat them down.



They're pretty strong, too, so be wary of that.



Normally, this would be a very frightening thing to see.



You can almost hear the crickets chirp, can't you? Sure, Goemon took a lot of damage, but that's just par for the course at this point.



They also counter magic with Beam.



All in all, if these guys weren't just buckets of HP with high Strength, they'd be so boring I'd forget they existed. As it stands, I still usually forget they exist.







I'm always wary of dungeons like this where I can go so far without an encounter. From that door to here, I didn't fight a single monster.



I made it up to here, too, without a single fight. That's the kind of stuff that freaks me out.



Ah, there we go.



Ooh! How undead!



Kim has leveled up enough to learn Firaga (got it in a fight near the Genji Shield, actually), so this is the perfect enemy to test it out on.



Not bad. Out of the 12,000 HP this thing has, Kim made a hearty dent in it.







That was an unpleasant counter.



By the way, this thing is also weak to Holy magic. Puddin has access to the only offensive White Magic spell, so let's test that out while we're here, too.





Y'know, I am this close to making a comment about an old man beating up a dragon with his balls, but I'll refrain.



A tad lacking compared to Firaga, but considering how powerful Kim is, I can forgive Puddin.



It was still enough to re-murder it.



Oh, hey, there's the new body armor I wanted!



It's a nice boost to Cecil's already kickass defense.



That's an awful thin, conspicuous stretch of land. Let's avoid it for now.



As there's more treasure around these parts.



This is part of the treasure, really.



Gold Dragons are another enemy without any weaknesses and a lot of HP; 8,200 of it to be exact.



Their physical prowess isn't anything impressive.





They counter attacks with Entangle, which can paralyze.



They also have this for their offensive repertoire.



And they were firmly in "Fuck Goemon" mode, as they just electrocuted him to death.



Leviathan is a good way to drop a ton of damage on these guys and while it's fairly costly, Kim's MP pool can handle it.



Unlike Puddin's MP pool. This is one of my biggest complaints with him. He has every spell in the game, yes, but with only 190 MP at his disposal, he can't fling spells around like Kim or Rosa can. With Meteor costing 99 MP, he's only got one casting of that; Flare can only go three times and Flare kicks ass.



How kick ass is it, exactly?



It looks Fire elemental, but it's non-elemental, as far as the FF Wiki tells me. I thought it was before, but I like to double check these things. Apparently, in the DS version, it is Fire elemental. I hope SF doesn't mind me encroaching on her territory like that.



I also want to say it doesn't give a shit about any sort of defenses, but I could be mixing it up with another Final Fantasy Flare spell. There's a lot of 'em around, y'know.



This is why this fight was part of the treasure. Look at all the fucking gil!





Pardon me, I do believe I have the vapors.



I think there are spots in my vision now.



Cecil is now rolling completely in Genji Gear. He no longer has the dope-ass pimp bling gear on, but I imagine a collection of armor pieces from a foreign land look pretty ballin', too.



We've got another fi--



SWEET CHICKEN IN A BISCUIT!



Behemoths are bad motherfuckers. The boss theme is actually playing here.



But, as with most Final Fantasy fights, there is a way to utterly trivialize this normally difficult fight.



You may notice that Goemon is no longer in his regular position. That's because he's under the effect "Blink", which will render him absolutely immune to two physical hits. They rapidly flit back and forth, making some shots hard to get. Puddin and Rosa can also cast Blink.



The Behemoth is slow as hell, too. He'll actually make very few attacks of his own.



After everyone is Blink'd up, this becomes Cecil and Goemon's fight.



Oh, Blink also results in some funny looking shots. I could almost swear that Cecil is just throwing Excalibur at the Behemoth. Possibly screaming in fear.



The Behemoth has 23,000 HP to tear through, so this is going to take a while.



He also counters all physical attacks with a physical of his own, which can deal nearly 2,000 damage to whoever it hits. I think that's what will really throw people off; they may not realize that he counters physical strikes with physical strikes of his own, so they'll just assume he's very fast and strong and will try to beat him in a damage race that they're going to, more than likely, lose. If you just take the fight slow and neuter his physical capabilities, the Behemoth is no more complicated to kill than Cagnazzo.

He apparently counters magic with Maelstrom, which is just a full-party Tornado, which can be terrifying, however, I never got him to do it. Also worth mentioning is the Behemoth's monstrous Magic Defense; I hit him with Leviathan and he only took 850 damage.



Here's Throw in action; Goemon is throwing the Avenger at the Behemoth, as I didn't sell it. It was only worth 5 gil.



He's still in full Blink mode while doing this, too.



Throw deals a pretty good amount of damage and it just gets better with better things to Throw. The Knife is the ultimate thing to throw, but that's for a special occasion.



I'll spare you the details here; just imagine five minutes of Goemon and Cecil hacking away at this thing, while Puddin and Rosa occasionally recast Blink on someone. Kim spends the entire fight defending.









Behemoths are very worthwhile to kill. Not to mention, you have to get through three of them if you want to make it to the end of this dungeon. They're all in spots like that and are mandatory fights.



Nothing over to the left that I found, so we're going straight ahead.



To another Behemoth. The regular fights are still going, too, so this place can be a hell of a drain on resources.





This one goes just about the same as the first one.



Except I used Flare on it. Now I'm certain that Flare goes no fucks about a target's defenses, which makes it even better. It also casts really Goddamn fast.

Edit: Trasson gave me some information and, as it turns out, Flare does give fucks about a target's defense. However, it still casts really damned fast.



And this is why Blink is so important; I've seen this do about 400 to 500 more damage to Cecil.



One last disconnected sword swing for this fight.



And then we move on.







At the end of this path is the final Behemoth fight.



I'll spare you the tedium of Blinking and sword swinging. Except for this shot, as I'm a fan of these disconnected swings.



We finally reach the end and there are children here. On the Moon. At the end of a cave, where the path was guarded by Behemoths.



I'll let it slide this time, you little asshole.



You, however, creep me out, so I won't push my luck by talking shit to you.





And now, we're facing a god.



We made it to the top of the chain when it comes to Summoned Monsters. We've tamed nearly all of them, including their King and Queen.



It's time to become Godslayers.



The Bahamut boss fight is as gimmicky as they come.



He'll count down to zero before he attacks; he's nice enough to warn you.



But he counts very, very fast.



According to the Final Fantasy Wiki this is supposed to cast Reflect on the entire party.



However, as you can see here, that's blatant bullshit.



So, I scrambled in a panic, thinking that I had Lunar and Light Curtains confused. I could see it happening, since the names are very similar.



Nope! I was wrong on both counts. My grand plan was to Lunar Curtain the party.



Because when he hits zero...



...He proves why he is the God of Summons.



Thankfully, his attack can be reflected. You may recall the book from the library in the Land of Summoned Monsters that mentioned something about reflecting his power back at him.



It's very effective against him, as is us.



In this shot, you can see why Puddin's name was changed to what it was; just a puddle of beard up there.



After that, the pattern begins to repeat. He has 45,001 HP, so he'll kill himself if you keep Reflect up.



Thankfully, the Reflect from those two items lasts this entire fight. I considered trying to revive the others, but it wouldn't be worth it.





All in all, I wouldn't say Bahamut is a hard fight. If you know what you're doing, it's easy as pie. But if you're thinking you can survive Mega Flare and beat him in a damage race, you are way off the mark.



Before long, the God of Summons falls to two mortals.



And now his great power is ours; Kim can summon him at will and Bahamut is fucking awesome.



You'll see it next update, though. For now, I'm ready to get the hell out of here.



And don't you forget it, kid.



You have no idea, little lady.



Alright, let's scoot and skedaddle.





After all of that, Cecil and crew deserve their rest. They've come so far and they still have quite a ways to go.



But, that'll have to wait until next time.

Speaking of next time, we'll be going back to Earth, so stay tuned!